I have this one line from Drake-Say Something in my head that is playing over and over AND OVER AGAIN!!!!
"say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby" "say something baby"
It's so distracting and unreasonably on repeat. I have no significant association to this part of the chorus at all. I just woke up to this song being played ever so loudly by my lovely neighbors and now it has been playing about a million times in my head. As I am writing my research paper on the Futurist movement and the relationships between culture and politics, all that is streaming through my mind is "say something baby". AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I hate it when a song --or worse, a single line-- gets stuck in my head. Filippo Tommaso Marinetti, founder of Futurism, published a Futurist Manifesto in 1907 because he needed to "say something baby". I'm sure of this.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
strange and beautiful
It dawned on me today that my grandparents got married when they were just 16 or 17 years old. I can't even imagine myself being in the position they were in, especially since by now I'd have a few kids and property in need of care. My grandparents claimed that they were both deeply in love with each other at the time of their official union. Although I'm a bit of a skeptic about young people professing to be "in love" when they have little sense about the world around --and beyond-- them, I believe the story of my grandparents.
They were together for 60+ years (until my grandfather passed away) and there was so much display of affection between them at all times. Even when they had disagreements (they rarely fought), it was obvious that below the level of their tension was a drive to only make their relationship stronger. As a child, I had no way of labeling what this underlying tenderness was caused by. Even now I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully comprehend their unusual relationship --unusual in that it was so full of undying commitment to maintain their fidelity, not just physically but emotionally as well.
Even though they are no longer a pair in the physical world, I am still in awe of the magical relationship that no words could do justice to describe the indefinite feelings they shared. Anyone who knows my grandmother, also know that she has a tendency to focus herself as the center of everyone's attention. She is quite selfish at times, but my grandfather loved her regardless of her difficult nature. Sometimes I wondered why he was so engrossed by her, but then again, it must have been one of those things his words could not truly explain anyway. I do love my grandmother dearly though; She's just a bit much at times. Nonetheless, she is a precious being whom I owe a chunk of my existence to. I can only hope that my future husband (if I ever have one... or two. JK) will remind me of my grandfather and his ability to be so faithful. I know it's a lot to ask for someone just like him, but if my husband has any good quality that even remotely reminds me of my grandpa, I'd be a lucky girl.
I really miss my harahbuhjee a lot. His hugs were generously warm, but I miss touching his scratchy face (after a few days would pass since he shaved) even more. I know it sounds odd, but that scratchy feeling is one of the best sensations in the world to me because it reminds me of him.
They were together for 60+ years (until my grandfather passed away) and there was so much display of affection between them at all times. Even when they had disagreements (they rarely fought), it was obvious that below the level of their tension was a drive to only make their relationship stronger. As a child, I had no way of labeling what this underlying tenderness was caused by. Even now I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully comprehend their unusual relationship --unusual in that it was so full of undying commitment to maintain their fidelity, not just physically but emotionally as well.
Even though they are no longer a pair in the physical world, I am still in awe of the magical relationship that no words could do justice to describe the indefinite feelings they shared. Anyone who knows my grandmother, also know that she has a tendency to focus herself as the center of everyone's attention. She is quite selfish at times, but my grandfather loved her regardless of her difficult nature. Sometimes I wondered why he was so engrossed by her, but then again, it must have been one of those things his words could not truly explain anyway. I do love my grandmother dearly though; She's just a bit much at times. Nonetheless, she is a precious being whom I owe a chunk of my existence to. I can only hope that my future husband (if I ever have one... or two. JK) will remind me of my grandfather and his ability to be so faithful. I know it's a lot to ask for someone just like him, but if my husband has any good quality that even remotely reminds me of my grandpa, I'd be a lucky girl.
I really miss my harahbuhjee a lot. His hugs were generously warm, but I miss touching his scratchy face (after a few days would pass since he shaved) even more. I know it sounds odd, but that scratchy feeling is one of the best sensations in the world to me because it reminds me of him.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
rain or shine
When the weather is really nice outside (i.e. sunny with gentle cool breezes) I don't want to do anything work-related but just prance around in a summery dress without a care in the world.
When the weather is terrible to be outside (i.e. thunderstorms and lightening) I don't want to do anything work-related but snuggle under my covers and maybe sip on some hot chocolate with whipped cream.
I love the excuses I make to avoid getting necessary work done. Love them terribly, but they're so terrible to love!
It is 3:28 in the afternoon. Right now it is raining really hard and I still haven't been able to get myself out of my cozy bed. Wait, that is a tiny lie. I have gotten out to pee and eat, but other than those two activities I have not been able to stay out of my bed. Help me.
When the weather is terrible to be outside (i.e. thunderstorms and lightening) I don't want to do anything work-related but snuggle under my covers and maybe sip on some hot chocolate with whipped cream.
I love the excuses I make to avoid getting necessary work done. Love them terribly, but they're so terrible to love!
It is 3:28 in the afternoon. Right now it is raining really hard and I still haven't been able to get myself out of my cozy bed. Wait, that is a tiny lie. I have gotten out to pee and eat, but other than those two activities I have not been able to stay out of my bed. Help me.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
once in a lifetime
Whether today was good or bad, it is a day that will never happen again. If it was nothing but terrible, this is a splendid truth. If it was the most amazing day you wish were never-ending, I'm sorry about the unfortunate circumstances that are presented by reality. Nevertheless, why be consumed by what has already happened and gone, when there are more important things to occupy your concern... like tomorrow?
It's really hard not to dwell on things, but I'm trying to acknowledge better times to come. That little beam of light at the end of the tunnel, yeah, that will be a brighter day of many more ahead.
It's really hard not to dwell on things, but I'm trying to acknowledge better times to come. That little beam of light at the end of the tunnel, yeah, that will be a brighter day of many more ahead.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
great expectations
At times I wish I were harder to please, but in all honesty I find joy in much of the simple things in life. Some things that make me really happy include:
-big, soft pillows
-rainbow sprinkles
-accidentally bringing an umbrella with me on a day of unexpected rainfall
-waking up a few seconds before my alarm goes off so I can turn it off before it ever rings and actually get myself out of bed on time too
-receiving mail (NOT ELECTRONIC)
-extra cheese
-fresh laundry
-grocery shopping
-seeing other people genuinely happy
There is a plethora of other things in life that tickle my fancy, but the point I want to make is that I think some people overlook the little treasures hidden in what may feel like their mundane lives. Also, I think it helps to not expect so much from the world --especially if you're only concentrating on what you can gain from it as opposed to what you can contribute yourself. To me at least, the best things in life happen when I least expect them to. Maybe the intensity of gratification is skewed because I wasn't anticipating them to happen, but regardless of the context in which they occur I tend to find that expectations we set are rarely met to our satisfaction. It's not that I've removed all expectations in life or lowered their standards; rather, I've come to accept that it makes no sense to set ridiculous goals that are doomed from the start. Surprises startle me, but good ones are always welcome. Bad ones are tolerable too, I guess, if they somehow remind me to be appreciative for what's already in my possession or in proximity. There are lots of ugly things in this world, but there's just as much (if not more) beauty to counteract their tarnishing properties. This is really embarrassing to admit, but I came to this conclusion one day as I was pondering all of my favorite foods... there were so many delicious things that crossed my mind that I couldn't help but be in a pleasant (and hungry) mood.
-big, soft pillows
-rainbow sprinkles
-accidentally bringing an umbrella with me on a day of unexpected rainfall
-waking up a few seconds before my alarm goes off so I can turn it off before it ever rings and actually get myself out of bed on time too
-receiving mail (NOT ELECTRONIC)
-extra cheese
-fresh laundry
-grocery shopping
-seeing other people genuinely happy
There is a plethora of other things in life that tickle my fancy, but the point I want to make is that I think some people overlook the little treasures hidden in what may feel like their mundane lives. Also, I think it helps to not expect so much from the world --especially if you're only concentrating on what you can gain from it as opposed to what you can contribute yourself. To me at least, the best things in life happen when I least expect them to. Maybe the intensity of gratification is skewed because I wasn't anticipating them to happen, but regardless of the context in which they occur I tend to find that expectations we set are rarely met to our satisfaction. It's not that I've removed all expectations in life or lowered their standards; rather, I've come to accept that it makes no sense to set ridiculous goals that are doomed from the start. Surprises startle me, but good ones are always welcome. Bad ones are tolerable too, I guess, if they somehow remind me to be appreciative for what's already in my possession or in proximity. There are lots of ugly things in this world, but there's just as much (if not more) beauty to counteract their tarnishing properties. This is really embarrassing to admit, but I came to this conclusion one day as I was pondering all of my favorite foods... there were so many delicious things that crossed my mind that I couldn't help but be in a pleasant (and hungry) mood.
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